I am a blog thief

My sister posted this on her Yahoo 360 and I said to myself, ""That's a damn fine blog...I think I'll steal it.""  I also added a line or two ... FYI--I'm Wyrd.  So here it is:

The familia has different rules than most families.  It's what makes us unique. 

Rule 1.  Every sibling is stupid.  It's not uncommon to begin a conversation with Wyrd or a call to V with ""Your sister is so stupid!""  The proper reply to this is: ""Which sister now?"" or ""Yes she is! Which one?"" 

Rule 2. They are always the sibling's family, not your own.  When speaking to Wyrd, it is proper form to say: ""Your father said x.""  or ""Have you called your mother?"" or ""Your tia is in town.""

Rule 3.  There are no clear-cut relationships.  Lil Brother, Cousin E, Uncle E, Nephew  E are all the same person and can be used interchangeably by any member of the familia.  Everyone (child, grandchild, great grandchild) calls Wyrd's mother and father Mama and Dad.

Rule 4.  There is only community property.  Grab a set of keys and take any car.  Spend the night in whichever house.  Sleep on any bed.  Wear whatever's cute.  (it's $3 a gallon...put gas in my ride! and be advised Mama is probably 2,000 miles overdue for an oilchange)

Rule 5.  Children have multiple mothers.  Any child regardless of color or age will be scolded, spanked, punished, kissed, hugged, or claimed in public as mijo/mija at any time by any member of the family.  (Unless they embarrass me in public, in which case I announce,  ""I can't wait to get you home to your mother!"" or ""I'm not your mother, but I'll whoop you for her.)

Rule 6.  Anything said or done is immediately relayed across the country to any family member except Mama and Dad.  This applies to anything positive or negative and currently only includes 3 states. (On the record, I don't know shit and I ain't in it.)

Rule 7.  Everything is funny.  There is no topic, regardless of the nature, which cannot be joked about to lighten the mood.  This includes death, crime, baby-daddy jokes, etc.

Rule 8.  All children inherit bad traits from their fathers.  Since only the females have spawned children, this is universal.  Sweat glands, feet, body hair, etc. all come from the male gene pool. (I dunno...lil brother has Juana's monkey toes)

Rule 9.  You make the call when you get that feeling.  The are-you-pregnant? feeling-ok? been-in-jail-lately? No? well, have-you-heard-from-your-sister? call.