The Garden of Love by William Blake

"

The Garden Of Love

by William Blake.

I laid me down upon a bank,
Where Love lay sleeping;
I heard among the rushes dank
Weeping, weeping.

Then I went to the heath and the wild,
To the thistles and thorns of the waste;
And they told me how they were beguiled,
Driven out, and compelled to the chaste.

I went to the Garden of Love,
And saw what I never had seen;
A Chapel was built in the midst,
Where I used to play on the green.

And the gates of this Chapel were shut
And ""Thou shalt not,"" writ over the door;
So I turned to the Garden of Love
That so many sweet flowers bore.

And I saw it was filled with graves,
And tombstones where flowers should be;
And priests in black gowns were walking their rounds,
And binding with briars my joys and desires.

"

was that out loud?

It was out loud.  I said it.  Did the silence just get louder? Take it back.  There is no taking it back.  Well fix it then.  There's an idea... how? No idea. Dammit.  "Done bun can't be undone"  Can't un-do, can't un-say.  I know that.  Say something.  Say what?  Something!  "It slipped"  No, dumbass. Say something else.  Too late.  Oooooooohhhhhh....... Did he just say...? "I heard you"  He did.  That's what he said.  He smells so good. You should have said that.  "Should have" is for --people with sense? people with more time to waste than live.  This is living?  Close enough.  Say you're sorry.  I'm not sorry.  Say it anyway.  That would be insincere.  God, you're a dumbass.  Run.   "I'll open the car door for you"  Now I'm sorry.  get out.  Gone.  oh god...he's walking over here.  Run!  Is that a genuine smile, a polite smile or a god-she's-so-stupid smile?  just leave.  Ok.  and don't cry.  Gonna cry. don't.  Ok...won't ...yet.  Maybe I should just say how I feel.  That's how we got here.  Is that how I feel?  you said it.  Yes, I said it.

I forget....is it good or bad when the police come?

John and I went to his job to pick up some stuff he needs to work at home.  Since we have nowhere pressing to be, we turn on the stereo.  I guess it was a little too loud becase three police officers arrived.  They, unlike us, set off the building alarm.  They took our i.d.s and the little one was a real jerk implying that we were up to something other than retrieving materials.  If I were a man barely 5 ft and 125lbs, I suppose that I would also have something to prove and require a gun and a uniform with which to bully people. 

We had a key.  *They* set off the alarm.  Taxpayers, light a candle for the inept policemen who gaurd us as we sleep.

I am too much in the sun

I've been dreading this day for weeks now.  Turning 30 just seemed so daunting.  I felt like I've spent all this time waiting for my life to get started and it's only getting closer to being over.  And then today I woke up feeling damn fine.  No problems.  Just another day. Did a mirror check and was actually pretty happy with the way I look despite staying up until 2 a.m.  Then I log on here...and I see my profile has been automatically updated to show my age and I'm feeling older, which is ages away from old.   That's not a bad thing.  Jon says so and I have to agree.