my timing sucks

Yesterday my son told me that he wished I could hang out with him and his dad on Friday.  Today I gave my Drowning Pool tickets away so I could do just that. 

Tonight he asked if I would mind doing something else cuz he wants to hang with just his daddy.  I said, ""ok honey.""

I need a beer.

Lucky

I won Drowning Pool tickets for this Friday in Fort Worth.  Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the floor Let the bodies hit the....FLOOR   So if you're a fan, I could use the company. 

I also won a ""Knights of Prosperity"" prize pack.  I guess I'll watch the show when it comes on.   I have a backpack, tshirt, hat, cookie and $100 visa gift card. 

Go me.

You got to keep it separated

I was going to make a tuna sandwich and there were flakes of tuna in the Miracle Whip.  I dug out and disposed of several tablespoons of whipped, white goodness for fear of contamination.  I understand that it was refrigerated and I was going to mix tuna and Miracle Whip anyway, but still, it made me unhappy. 

I know it's odd, but I can't help it; cross contamination of foods bothers me.  I don't want mini-globs of jelly in my peanut butter.  I don't like toast crumbs on the butter.  Please don't use the mashed potato spoon for the gravy. 

Once it's on your plate, mix and mash and stir and blend.  Until then, keep it apart so I can keep it together.

Happy Birthday to me

Ten years ago today, I stayed home on my birthday having learned the week before that I was pregnant.  Josh had to work and I didn't really know many people in Bloomington.  I watched a murder mystery on PBS set in medieval times...the main character was a friar complete with brown robe.  I wondered what color my baby's eyes would be, if he'd look like me and what kind of person he'd be.  I prayed, ""Dear Lord, let this baby be healthy....preferably a boy...and with green eyes if possible, but healthy if nothing else.""  I made a list of baby names with Alejandro Antonio being #1.

He ended up being Alexander Catarino.  He's very pale with the green eyes I prayed for, but otherwise he looks like me.  I didn't have to worry about what kind of person he'd be; he's  the best kid anyone could ask for.  Josh's parents sent him $50 for Christmas.  My son used most of it to take me out to dinner and movie because it's my birthday.  We watched Happy Feet and I watched him.  He laughed and I laughed and cried.  (I cry a lot at movies, but this was different, Juana and Tiffany)

Alex is amazing.  He's polite, friendly, sincere, honest, generous, considerate and compassionate.  I know what I did to get him, but I don't know what I ever did to deserve him. 

He's watching me watch him fall asleep. 

""Who's got the best big boy in the whole wide world?

""Who?""

""That would be me."

whatever

I'm sorry…I'm sorry…what I said was, ""HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY BALLS, MR. GARRISON?""

 ****************************************************

I said ""No, of course not.""  I meant, ""Yes...yes, I do.  Was I unclear previously?""

 

I'm not sure when I became this person who bites my tongue, but I'm over it. 

 

Life's too short to cry over cracked eggshells so my fat ass isn't walking on them anymore.

Blah

Amazon.com is irritating me.  I ordered Juana's Christmas present last week and they still haven't shipped it.  They promise delivery by the 22nd and I know they're busy, but damn.  Ship it.  Box it.  Something...I ordered the same thing this year as I did last year, but last year I ordered off Ebay and the seller sent me an email to say they sold it, but I could have it in May if I wanted to wait.  Puh.  Losers.

My back hurts.  Not as bad as yesterday, but it's still feels like a kick in the ass/lower spine.  I keep it to myself, except for you.  But you read this cuz you give a shit about me, right?  Well screw you then...  Anyway, I'm in pain and stupid stuff is annoying me.  I popped some Advil, but all it did was give me heartburn so I took a Tums.  Now I'm kinda hungry, but if I go to lunch too early, the afternoon drags on.  I may go anyway.  I dunno who's going to answer the phone since everyone has their extension on DND, but, oddly enough, once again, I find myself out of give-a-shits.

Who put that web there?

Ever see The Fly?  Not the original black and white...the remake with what's-his-face from Jurassic Park.  I can see it clear as day.  His girlfriend looks at him and tells him he's getting worse.  He's covered with slime, growing black hair, and has to puke on his food to eat it...and he tells her, ""I'm getting better.""  What an idiot.  Me too. 

I've spent the last 15 years thinking I was getting better.  But in retrospect, I'm just a slimey, hairy fool.  Pardon me while I puke.

Thanksgiving

Alex, Josh and I climbed in the truck Wednesday after I fueled up and got an oil change and headed on down to Laredo.  Eric called us when we were at dinner, still an hour from San Antonio.  He wanted to know when I was coming because the food was ready.  I told him to go ahead and eat cuz we were still ""far away.""  He hung up and told the old folks that I said ""forty-five miles away.""  Hours later, phone calls were made to and from me, mom and Kris.  Eventually, we got to Laredo around 11ish and couldn't find the exit that Josh had on his crack-induced directions.  I pulled a Kristina and exited at the 50 foot Popeye's sign.  From there, I had Josh call Dad and he gave us directions to the house.  We arrived safely and chatted before going to bed after midnight, which is technically Thanksgiving.

Thursday morning, I woke up and smelled all kinds of wonderful things.  I also started coughing again.  Dad gave me Vitamin C, B12, zinc, and a Geritol.  Mom gave me Robitussin.   

Tia Maria, Esmerelda, Hector and Abigail came around 11:30 and lunch commenced before noon.  I had 2 plates that didn't duplicate any foods and I still didn't taste everything.  We all talked and ate and laughed. 

My cousin Monica came by to see me, but didn't talk to me.  She sat there with Dad claiming poverty and trying to look woeful, but hopeful a la Little Orphan Annie.   She only worked 2 days, she had to go to school and work and it's SO HARD and she spent so much money on her truck and new trucks are so cheap in San Antonio.  [Whatever, bitch.  My daddy doesn't owe you a truck.  My daddy doesn't owe *me* a truck so that's a great big HELL NO to your sorry ass who thought you were too good for us all your life.] She got a $2,300 settlement (I didn't ask why) and didn't get a car then.  She didn't mention what she did, in fact, spend the money on.  My guess is the 2 tons of foundation she uses to cover her nasty skin and the emerald green eye makeup she must have applied with a trowel.  I honestly think her equally attractive sister gave me the eye last time I was down there.  I'm good now so it's cool.  Like my beautiful sister's page says, ""Hating me doesn't make you pretty.""

Around 6 or 7, I had dinner...I still don't think I got everything, but I did duplicate.  Mama made au gratin potatoes per Alex's request the week before and they were goooooooood.  After that, my cousin Juanito showed up, which is fortunate because I talked to him instead of my Meme and Flora when they sauntered in.  Passive aggressive on my part, but I'm ok with that. 

I gave in to dessert around 10.  I was trying to avoid it, but there was a folding card table full of goodies.  I had millionaire cake and some baked apples with the crumbly topping.  Those apples were so damn good.  If I didn't know my sugar was already going to be over 100 in the morning, I would have warmed them up and put ice cream on top.

We also watched Spiderman 2 at some point.  The phone kept ringing all day. Dad's back has been bothering him.  He got a belt at Walgreens.  HELLO?!?  I'm sending him our best lumbar support.  Hard headed old man...  Lemme see....lots of other random crap, but this is already way too long. 

 I went 1) to see my parents and 2) to eat.  Both missions accomplished.

I sleep now?

I am so friggin tired of being sick.  I swear I thought I was gonna cough up a tonsil.  It hurts to cough.  It hurts to breath.  If I breath with my nose, I don't get enough air, if I open my mouth, I look retarded and get dehydrated. 

My plans for tonight are shot.  I just know I'm gonna end up needing a shot.  I'm so not happy.  I actually have to work.  I'm tired.  I'm cranky.  I'm fresh out of give-a-shits and people keep talking to me.  

 Please make them leave me alone.

Just give me my drugs, dammit!

My name is Cindy and I'm sporadically a drug addict. 

Yes, it's true.  I am addicted to Non-drowsy, multi-symptom, severe cold Sudafed.  When I have a cold, it's the one thing that works on all my symptoms.  I buy it whenever I'm sick and my sinuses are taking over my face. 

Last week I purchased the ""new formula"" and it sucked a lot.  I was still sniffly and snot-laden.  Not fun.  Today I went to Walmart to find something else that would hopefully work.  I didn't even see the box with the purple stripe that has always said relief.  I found a plastic square for an alternate medication.  I took it up to the pharmacy to sit and wait.  I was sniffling and sweating and waiting....and waiting.  Finally someone came to help me and I saw it behind the counter!  The original addiction.   

I asked for it as the pharmacy assistant eyed me suspiciously and asked if I wanted BOTH.  Perhaps she mistook my cold and fever symtoms for meth withdrawal.  She clenched the box of other stuff to her chest as  I checked to make sure I had indeed found the original formula.  She eyed me the whole time like I was gonna run with a single box of Sudafed halfway through the Walmart to the door.  Finally I decided to just take my box of Sudafed so she wouldn't alert the feds that I wanted to buy two, whole boxes of over the counter medication. (They already have a file on me)  And then she took my driver's license and made me sign for it.  It's not worth getting sick for the pain in the ass of getting some damn pills.

By comparison, I walked down to the apartment complex across the street, gave the guy with the nose ring $10 and walked away with actual meth.  Now if I can find a way to break it down and get my Sudafed out of it, I'm in business.

Cub Scouts Rule!

Just finished a shower with hot water.  aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. 

Camping was fun...of course, I didn't really do any of the work so that may have a lot to do with it.  My work friend, Scott, loaned us the tent, for which I am very grateful.  It's huge.  It fit our queen sized air mattress, all our stuff and we still had space left over...we called it the living room. 

When we first got there, I laid out the tarp and the tent and kinda scratched my head becuase I have NO camping experience.  Fortunately, I was surrounded by Boy Scouts and Scout Masters.  Those fine gentlemen set up my tent and helped us unload our stuff in no time.  Big KUDOS to them for being so awesome! 

The pack leaders and den chiefs did all the cooking and cleaning and had lots of activities for the boys.  Between the hiking, wrestling, football and skits, I don't think anyone missed Saturday morning cartoons. 

The entire group played games.  The dens vs. the adults.  We lost everytime, but we tried.  I really thought I was gonna win the limbo contest...until my boobs ran into the pole.  Mr. Jose said to watch the speed bumps.  I blushed and laughed and made it under the second time...the time after that I fell.  It was an excellent ice breaker...and I don't think it will soon be forgotten. 

I had a cold and Alex caught one Friday night so we came home tonight.  I had enough sense to bring my medicine so we were good most of the day.   If the weather were nicer, I gladly would have stayed, but I don't want to risk Alex getting sicker. 

The Scouts are planning another trip in the spring and we'll be there.  Family is welcome...byo sleeping bag.

It'll grow back.

My child has decided that he wants a mohawk.  An actual, honest to goodness mohawk.  I checked with the school principal and he okayed it as long as it's not dyed a funky color. 

He's shaggy and it's time for a haircut, but it's also almost time for him to see my parents.  While the old folks are a lot more mellow now than they ever were when I was 9, I don't know how well that will go over.  Then again, they may not care at all.  I may let him do it and if he hates it, he can get a buzz cut instead.  Hair changes never last...just look at Madonna.

Stuff and whatnot

I've been avoiding blogging cuz the stuff in my head isn't really clear.  I'm hoping that writing it out will help me sort stuff. (Stuff.  I like that word)  I've also been avoiding it because I can't decide whether to let the stalkers read it, or make it private.  Whatever. 

Just today, Josh commented how no one is doing anything on MySpace for about a week.  Josh is in Texas.  More specifically, in the apartment with Kris, the boys and me.  He has lost a lot of weight in the past year.  However, the way he's been eating, I don't see that lasting.

The Cub Scout campout was re-sceduled for this coming weekend.  Alex is very excited about the whole thing.  Fortunately, the weatherman predicts temps in the 70s.  Hotdogs, s'mores, campfire...the smells I'll have to get out of my jeans.  I've never been camping.  The whole prospect makes me uneasy.  Dirt.  Mud.  Other people's children.  Yuck.

Alex has a week off for Thanksgiving.  He has informed me that I need to get him an airline ticket and he'll drive back with us.  Even though he spent most of the summer with Mama, he's just dying to get back there.  I don't think Kris took the weekend off, so we may be taking 2 cars.  Last year we showed up late Wednesday and left Friday morning.  Bleah.

Someone asked why I don't put up ""a more appealing picture.""  I'm not sure why.  Truth in advertising, I suppose.  Most days, I don't wear make-up.  I live in jeans.  Ponytails are easy.  I'm not one of those girls who put up a touched-up glamour shot that's been photo-shopped to make her face look thinner in order to score hook ups and get 2,000 people on her friends list.  My pics look like me.  My friends are my friends and family...they know what I look like.  Why pretend?

Drama at the dollar store

Why do I talk to strangers?

Alex and I hit the dollar store today.  There was a very long line and 2 open registers right next to each other in the same aisle so the customers all formed a single file line and waited.  This loud Messcan lady walks up in her tank top and no-bra and starts bitching about how long the line is.  She looks at me and asks, ""Can I get in line over there?""  I have no actual authority, but I tell her, ""No, we're all waiting in line for the next available register and we go around as the cashier becomes available.""  The old lady in front of me nods in agreement and the young black lady behind me gives a loud, ""Mmm hmm""  The Messcan lady makes a face to show that she clearly does not like my answer.  She asks, ""Well what if someone is daydreaming and they don't go on?""  I tell her, ""I'll let her know.""  She goes on and on to the lady next to her and still hasn't gotten in the line that's getting longer as she bitches.  I remain silent until she says to me, ""I don't know how you can smile about this.""  I said, ""In cases like this, you can choose to smile, you can choose to be miserable, or you can go the route you're taking and choose to try to make other people miserable.  Excuse me, the line is moving.""  She put her stuff in the bin next to her and said, ""I don't need this bullshit.""  By now she has irritated me and I feel my Gary wanting to come out and I tell her, ""Yeah, I don't either."" She left the store in a huff.  After she left, the old lady in front of me says, ""I'm glad she left.  Thank you, dear." The lady behind pats me on the back and said, ""Me too.""

The drama continues...  The cashier furthest from me becomes available and it's my turn so I go around.  The cashier tells me she's gonna get the lady in the front of the store real quick.  Her manager has brought this woman from the trailer park to the front of the line and explains, ""She's upset.""  I say, ""I bet I'm more upset.""  He walked away.  I seem to have that effect on people at the dollar store.   So I let the trailer lady go as the women behind me get  very loud and start raising a fuss.  Trailier lady starts to argue with the mob, which is never smart.  ""It's not my fault...the manager told me...I didn't choose this.""  Bah.  Loser.  So she pays and starts to walk away.  I say, ""Excuse me, ma'am...""  She turns and repeats that it's not her fault blah blah blah.  I said, ""Ok, I just wanted...""  She interupts me again about how she's in a hurry and not her fault.  I tried once more, ""Yes, but...""  She cut me off again and said that she didn't have time, not her fault, yadda yadda yadda.  I just shut up and let her walk out of the store.  I took my stuff out of the buggy and as the cashier rang me up, I finished my sentence, ""you dropped some money out of your purse."" and picked it up off the floor.  I paid with her $20 and then Alex and I went bowling.

"

Wil my blog thievery never end?

Ok...ok...I'm trying to stop laughing so I can type for a minute.  Whew!  My sister has a true talent for taking something stupid and taking it to a whole new level of retarded.  My family doesn't run with scissors, we run with nitrous oxide...more dangerous, if you ask me.

Without further ado.... A True Story in a True Story:

I was sitting outside smoking by myself.  The sun was shining.  The birds were singing.  The wind was gusting.  All of a sudden I begin laughing, appearing certifiable to the folks inside the building staring at me.

According to the story, Wyrd, Jane, and Josh had gone out to dinner one evening.  As they were about to get into the car, Wyrd announces: It's windy out here; if you gotta fart, better do it now before you get in the car.  Wyrd's Windy Day Theory (WWDT) was born!

The familia has cursed me with sporadic recall.  It causes me to burst out in laughter that no one outside the voices in my head can understand.  That's OK though because they're cursed with the affliction as well.  (At least 3 of them are probably laughing with tears in their eyes recalling as they read this.) Such is our world.

While WWDT can be employed outdoors while you are safely downwind from all humans, let me just remind some of you what is NOT covered by the theory:

It is NOT OK to fart in a store, shop, or other public place and walk away.  Just because you didn't linger doesn't mean your stench didn't.

It is NOT OK to fart in an upholstered chair you do not own.  As if the smell of a million asses who've sat in that chair isn't bad enough, you want to add your stale farts?

It is NOT OK to fart in a car, bus, plane, or other mode of transportation.  I am already trapped with you, don't nauseate me and make me kill you.

It is NOT OK to fart and blame it on a nearby child or animal.  Some stenches just can't be made by small creatures.

It is NOT OK to dine on beans, broccoli, and turnip dinners if you are not a hermit.  Don't eat gassy foods then expect to be near me. 

It is NOT OK to fart in the shower and knock yourself out.  I am not doing mouth-to-mouth on your nasty ass if you got knocked out by your own farts!

While the wind is still whipping, go out there and do your thing.  But please make sure you don't abuse the theory or there will be hell to pay.

Paranoia? Just Annoying.

Two different people have called here today with no idea where they were calling.  They both said the same thing, ""someone called my cell phone from there."" Neither had any idea who or why...  What is the logic here?  ""Hi, someone doesn't want to talk to me, who I may or may not know, so I want to track them down and find out who and why and disrupt your work day right now  finding out. ""

Why call somewhere if you don't know who the hell you're calling?  If someone I don't know calls and doesn't leave me a message, I assume it was a wrong number or not important.  I don't call the mis-dialer and harrass them.  I've got 60 people here, shall I ask each one if they made a phone call until someone breaks and confesses?  And then what?!?  Tell them not to make mistakes dialing the phone ever again?  Yeah...that'll solve the problem.  How neurotic, insecure, bored and lonely do you have to pull that bullshit ON PURPOSE?

I should take my own advice

Love is easy; relationships take work.  I firmly believe it.  The gee-he's-hot, I'm-so-lucky, rainbows & butterflies part is easy.  It's the swept away thing that just happens.  That part rules.  Relationships require attention and devotion.  I remember birthdays, favorite colors, colognes, candy bars, and cartoons.  It's all part of the big picture.     

 

It shouldn't be so hard…not all the time.  Sometimes in the course of a relationship, it is necessary to compromise.  I hate compromise.  I like having things my way all the time, but I try.  I really do.  I usually need a few days to consider it; I run it through my mind every which way, talk it over with someone I trust, weigh the pros and cons and decide whether it's reasonable and possible given my nature.  But when it's my turn to compromise all the time, it gets tiresome.  I know I have issues, but I'm not revamping my whole personality for a man.  I wouldn't ask it of anyone I care about.  And from personal experience, I can tell you, it's insulting to be asked. 

 

I keep replaying things in my mind.  What was, what could have been...I hate doing it.  I don't sleep.  I can't think.  I tear up at work.  I should let it go.  I have held on for way too long.  There is nothing there to hold on to.  I won't ever be her.  I can't be.  I'm just me…and for him, me is not enough.  So why can't I let it go?

Cooties, a tattletale and tea

I came to work and threw up twice yesterday before having enough sense to go home.  Scott's on vacation and I didn't want to leave them short-handed, but there are limits.  I drove home, swerving and confused and fell out when I got home.  When Alex got home, he ""took care of me"" by making me get out of bed and stay in the living room watching tv where he could see me and get me beverages.  He even passed on going out to dinner so he could stay with me.  I sweated and complained and had some soup.  My tummy doesn't like 99cent store soup.

Because Scott is on vacation, the bosses order lunch for the whole office so we're all here.  I hadn't eaten anything that stayed down since Sunday.  I was gonna have a sandwich and chips, but Kristina tattled long distance and then gave Mama my cell number so she could yell at me at work.  Just as I was about to get the first chip, I answer the phone and Mama says, ""Put down that pork chop."" Crackers for me.  

I decided I'd had enough Sprite and Gatorade and went for my tea stash.  The office's new coffee pot is hooked up to the water filtration system, has 3 warmers and a thingee just for hot water. Cranberry Apple Zinger tea is delicious.  I used to heat up my cup in the microwave, bring it back to my desk and add the tea bag.  Usually I'd forget to add the tea bag and have a glass of room temperature water but the time I remembered I wanted tea. Instead, I have just finished my nice, warm tea while typing this blog.

Ow

I literally can't walk and chew gum.  Last night, I tripped on an uneven part of the sidewalk and bit my tongue hard.  It still hurts. 

I didn't look, but it feels bruised. 

I can't talk right when I answer the phone so I'm sitting here sucking on ice chips.

Kris took me clearance shopping

I found a pair of gold satin-looking shoes with purple embroidery, white flowers and little rhinestones.  I've seen women wearing some like them all summer long and wondered if I should get a pair.  The question answered itself when I saw they were marked down to $0.90.  I have no idea what I'll wear them with...well maybe that white top with that satin-y ribbon I got for $1.20.  We struck clearance gold.  Yee haw!  I also found Alex a dragon shirt with flames. (you know the stuff he likes)  Of course I may have gone overboard...I spent $16 on clothes and shoes.

It was bound to happen

Everyday I go in Alex's backpack, pull out his uniform (he changes for gymnastics/karate), look over his homework, and sign his behavior chart.  I also pull out any papers he's wadded into the bottom as he shoves in the rest of it. 

Today I saw a yellow post-it note at the bottom.  Since his teacher and I write notes back and forth all the time, I assumed it was for me.  Nuh-uh.  In third grade girl writing, it read, ""Dear Alex, I love you.""  So I ask my son, ""What is this?"" and he says, ""It was folded up in this paper.""  Said paper was a fourth of a sheet that had been sealed with stickers; it read, ""To Alex. From your secret admire""  He smiles and shrugs.  He suggested that perhaps it was a boy who wrote it trying to fool him or a girl joking around with him.  I doubt it very much.

I can tell he is flattered, but it's not a big deal.  His teacher said he's finally socializing more with kids than adults.  These are good things.  While it's cute, it's also slightly annoying that some girl is making eyes at my baby.

In case you were interested

Kris and I went for haircuts Friday.  The ends are much smoother and the curl is prettier.  Since I don't wear my hair down very often, no one has noticed.  I've considered coloring the few grey hairs, but that's admitting defeat.  I refuse...unless I can find Feria blue black.

Work is amazingly complex lately.  Somewhat stressful.   They gave me a gas allowance so I have no excuse not to fill up at the pump.   I think I've mentioned that before, but it makes me happy so I've mentioned it again.

Boss's day is coming up.  I dunno what to get Leland.  I was thinking a doorplate for his office.  We all have those plastic inbox things on our doors, but I think a brass plate with his name and VICE PRESIDENT would be nice.  Gonna have to look around.

Alex joined cub scouts a while back.  He's so cute in his uniform.  The whole pack went to the Dallas Zoo on Saturday.   We walked forever.  It was a good time.  I'll have to go back and see the rest of it with my baby.  The pack is going camping at the end of this month.  I've never been camping.  He's looking forward to it.  I'm gonna try not to embarrass myself or my child.  We'll see.

I'm shopping for gym shoes.  I want navy, low top Chuck Taylors.  I also want basic white Nike three-quarter top cross trainers.  I can't find either.  I'm too old school for words...I'd like to think it's in the cool Run DMC Addidas way and not the White Snake purple leather boots way. 

It's allergy season.  My sinuses are not too bad, however I've had two asthma attacks this week. Not fun.  I rather like breathing. 

This makes my 101st blog entry.  Ta da!

Is it just me?

You ever go for a while where you just kinda function and don't really think?  Wake up, get ready, go to school/work, do what you do, come home, dinner, tv, maybe sleep some.  Repeat.  It just keeps going.  Not good...not bad...just going.  That's about where I am right now. 

I can't remember what I ate for lunch or what I did today at work.  I know I was there and crossed stuff off my Thing-a-Doo list, but I couldn't tell you what. 

I remember being at the Clear Channel building and there was an alarm of some sort and I walked down the stairs right ahead of Jet.  (The lead singer has the waist of an anorexic 14 year old, he's very, very pale and he seriously needs to wash all that product out of his hair.)  But then again, that could have been yesterday...though I'm pretty sure it was today.  Perhaps it will be clearer tomorrow, unless tomorrow decides to blur itself into the haze that's covering my days. 

This is why I don't take drugs...or even drink very often.  I'm already out of touch.  Can you imagine me in an altered state?

survey for you!

1.You and Jesus go out to dinner - who pays?
I can't see making the Son of God pay for dinner.

2. You suddenly have to flee the country and adopt an alias what is it?
Maria Gonzalez...it's believable and there are millions of them. They'd never find me.

3. Pick one state in the U.S. to get rid of permanently?
Louisiana. I'm out of sympathy.

4. You wake up AS the opposite gender - what's the one thing you wanna try?
Peeing my name in the snow

5. Luke Skywalker or Han Solo?
han solo...older men are hot

6. Toy you always wanted but never got as a child?
EZ Bake oven

7. Top celebrities you have crushed on?
jon bon jovi, trent reznor, david gahan, anthony hopkins

8. What's an automatic deal breaker in a potential significant other?
history of violent crime, asking me to borrow money, incurable body odor

9. What is the last movie you saw that actually scared you?
Night of the Living Dead (the original)

10. Stupidest thing you've ever said out loud?
Ever? Can't recall. But just today I said, "I wouldn't do that in the depths of a crack smoking hallucination" to a client. DOH!

11. You're sentenced to death and its the morning of your execution. What's your last meal?
Luigi's BBQ chicken wings with fries, a 2 liter of Coca-cola, and a cheesecake with strawberries.

12. What's something that most people do that you've never done?
visit Disneyland

13. Before you die you want to go to...?
London

14. Something you'd really like to do but probably won't ever be able to do?
win the lottery

15. A wild animal you'd like to have as a pet?
dolphin

16. A drug you'll never try?
heroin.

17. If you were an animal, what would you be?
a fat housecat

18. If you had to marry someone you knew at the age of 12, who would it be?
no clue.

19. What's something most people don't know about you?
I had to practice smiling cuz ppl told me I always looked mad.

20. First celebrity crush?
Jon Bon Jovi....still want him

21. What's a weapon to suit your personality, habits and abilities?
a big gun with a silencer and laser aiming thingee

22. With whom did you share the most memorable time of your life?
My mom was there when Alex was born...though I wish she had been elsewhere.

23. Favorite breakfast bread style (pancakes, waffles, toast etc.)?
banana pancakes

24. Favorite parody movie?
Scary Movie

25. Worst way to die?
slowly

26. Grossest injury you've ever seen?
Michael's nasty leg

27. The worst injury you've ever had?
broken foot

28. Favorite thing about Thanksgiving?
food, family, not working

29. Sport you hate the most?
is nascar a sport?

30. What city in the U.S. do you want to visit?
new york, new york

31. What's something you think would be sweet to know everything about?
men.

32. Favorite Actor/Actress?
actor: anthony hopkins. actress: julia roberts

33. What's one phrase you absolutely detest?
I'm just saying

34. What makes an awesome party?
good friends, food, music

35. What's your material obsession?
used to be my cell.... I love shoes. lots of shoes.

36. What's something most would consider an insult, but you enjoy having said about you?
She's shameless.

37. What's something most would consider a compliment but you hate being said about you?
beautiful...

38. Favorite carnival food (everyone has one)?
corndogs

39. Morning or night person?
Night.

40. Worst drunken/drugged up habit?
singing

41. Weirdest eBay purchase?
a book of William Blake's illustrations for the Book of Job...it was gonna be a gift.

42. Favorite food to eat when you're wasted?
pizza

43. Its Saturday at 3am. Where are you?
probably sleeping

44. Who's your favorite friend to go out with?
Josh if he has money

45. Worst job you've ever had?
Arby's.

46. What's something your friends make fun of you for?
talking to strangers and, lately, assigning nicknames to everyone I know

47. Favorite cereal?
Cinnamon Life or Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch

48. Book you could read repeatedly?
The Giving Tree

49. What's the meanest thing you've ever done?
Told the truth. It was evil.

50. Tell an interesting story about the last person to fill this out.
Once upon a time, (this story is made up, officer, I swear) Josh was visiting me in Texas. I wanted a doormat. Not just *any* doormat...a BIG, BLUE BLOCKBUSTER doormat. I eyed it covetously for months becuase in Texas, they kept them outside on the sidewalk. One night/early morning I pulled up to the Blockbuster and Josh ran out, grabbed the 4' x 6' mat, wadded it up and threw it in the back seat. Then he jumped in the car and yelled, "Drive! Drive!!!" We then drove back the apartment and spent 15-20 minutes emphatically wiping our feet and cracking up hysterically.

Show review

The Goo Goo Dolls.  They sang the hits and put on a decent show.  Good audience interaction.  Their background stuff was clearly low budget.  They need to talk to the sound crew who had the singer's mic on 2 for most of the first song.  After that was fixed, they sounded good.

The Counting Crows.  Hmmm.  They mighta spent a tad more on their stage set up.  The lead singer had a frightening amount of white in his dreadlocks and was also sporting a pot belly.  He sounded good, but they changed up the songs way too much.  ""Murder of One"" was turned into some kind of performance piece you'd expect to see at an artsy coffee house in a college town.  He was fluttering his arms as he was feathered by the moonlight.  Odd.

It was fun.  It was free.  Each band played just over an hour.  eh.  Neither band is Bon Jovi.  I give the whole show a 7 out of 10.

I've been good, dammit!

To the best of my information, knowledge and belief, I have not been  a major butt...or even just a butt.  I don't know what prompted that question, but honestly, I've been keeping to myself and minding my business.

I was deleted from several friends' lists on messenger.  I thought it odd, but ok, we don't have to chat.  I have plenty of people who want to know what I'll say next and happily converse with me.

I have friends of never-were-really-friends following me in cyberspace.  It's fucked up, but it's ok.  Watch me, if it amuses you.  I can also recommend some hobbies, if you have that much free time and energy. 

I'm being mindful of all 10 commandments, I try to moderate my indulgence of the 7 deadly sins and I even practice a beatitude every now and then.

I've tried to keep the positive people in my life close and closed the door on the negative.  I just don't have the time or energy to be bothered with negativity.  I'm making an honest effort to be a better person.  It's paying off in a lot of little ways...that's not why I'm doing it, but I have definitely noticed.

If at any point you think I'm being a major butt or think I have butt-like motives, please feel free to discuss these issues with me at any time.  If all you have is bitterness in your heart, I will pray for you, but please do not invite me into the drama you allow to pass for your life.

Friendship

I feel like a bad friend sometimes.  I mean to call...really, I do.  I'll do it right after dinner, after this show, after I wash my face after...it's midnight? 

Well, I can still call Scott; he's up.  He's a good friend.  He won't mind.  But I have to get up early and I haven't called in so long we're bound to have a 4 hour conversation.  I'll call tomorrow, after dinner, after.... And I'm sure he's got the same stuff happening and taking care of the business all hours.  It kinda sucks that I can't just clear a Friday, show up at Buddy and Pals...end up singing Jovi at his condo till the sun's coming up.

Tina had a baby?  Tina had 2 babies???  Holy crap.  Where was I? 

Gina is M.I.A.  When my phone broke, it ate her phone number.  Then again, I called her before it broke and she never called me back.  I know she meant to...come on,  since first grade. I'm sure something very dramatic is happening in her life...that's when she goes into hiding.  I'm sure she had a dream about me.  She always does right before I find her again.  I'm gonna go dig through papers.  I know I have her numbers somewhere. 

Knowing I can pick up right where we left off is comforting.  I know that I can call whenever, talk about whatever and it'll be just like always.  No matter how bad....but while things are ok,  I should get off my ass and be a friend anyway.

And it just gets better..

I thought we were gonna be in the lawn, but we have seats! Section 205 Row JJ, seats 9 & 10.  If you're there, stop by and say hi. 

I saw the Goo Goo Dolls open for Bon Jovi two(?) years ago.  The lead singer was drunk and slurred while he spoke, but gave a flawless performance.

AND!!! I stopped by Church's on the way back from picking up the tickets and I won a free spicy chicken sandwich with any soft drink purchase. 

Does it get any better?

Mr. Jones and *ME*

rrrrrrrrvvvvvvv rrrrrrrrrrvvvvv <--that's my cell phone vibrating

who the hell is calling me?  Hello?

Hello, is Cynthia there?

This is she. who else is gonna answer my cell phone?

Hi! This is Anna.

Hi, Anna (who!?!)...can I help you?

I'm calling from Jack FM to let you know you won the tickets you signed up for to see Counting Crows and the Goo Goo Dolls on September 9th.

No way!  Anna, you rule.  Anna, you rule.

Honk

I've pulled a couple of miracles out of my ass today.  I can't even get excited about it cuz I swear John thinks I'm the golden goose and won't let me be.  I didn't get a chance to eat my lunch till 2:30 today.  They ordered Jason's deli for the whole office.  Very tasty, but I can't help but wonder if I don't have salmonella for letting it sit on my desk so long.

First day of school

I sent my baby off to third grade today in a new school.  When did he get so old?  When did I get so old?

Before he left the house he asked how he looked.  ""Fabulous, as always."" was my reply.  He does a self-check and says, ""Yeah.  I really think these shoes are stylin'."" 

I offered to walk him to his classroom.  He told me, ""No, thanks.  I'm nine.  I got it.""  I wanted to walk him inside, but just said, ""ok, honey"" and got in the drop off lane with the rest of the cool kids' moms.

my baby

I love pictures.  Love taking them, love arranging them... I'm not fond of being in them, but I love looking at them and remembering what was happening.

My default pic is one of me and my baby taken four years ago at Picture People in the Southlake Mall in what was then Merrillville and is now Hobart, IN.   It's one of my favorites.  Yes, we were on the floor for about 40 minutes posing while mall-goers peeked in, but it was fun and I was very happy with the end result. 

I need to get more pictures taken of me and the boy before he's too embarrassed to be seen with me in public.  He turned 9 this week and I am not allowed to kiss him in public anymore.  He has informed me that he's growing his hair out so he can style it in that white boy quasi-mohawk. 

It was about the time that picture was taken that I called him ""my baby"" and he told me that he wasn't a baby he was a big boy.  Silly me.  I asked him, ""What did you do with my baby?""  With a most sincere and exasperated sigh he answered, ""I was your baby, but I growed!""   That's one of our running jokes.  It made me a little sad a week later when he started saying ""grew"", but he just keeps growing.

Chuck E. PooCheese

My baby decided he wanted a Chuck E. Cheese party so that's what he got.  My hostess was just terrible.  I had to ask her for the kids' tokens and chase her down to order pizza.  Then I needed more cups cuz they only set out cups for the kids and I waited for a while, but she never turned up so I got up and got in line with all the other folks who weren't paying $15 a kid for service.  Then I filled all the cups and refilled the pop pitchers.  I served all the pizza.  After I had done all this about 15 minutes later, the hostess shows up to ask if I need cups.  I told her I had gotten them and she just said, ""oh""   The kids then go play and have fun and she comes up to me and says that Chuck E. is going to dance for the kids and could I go get them.  I asked if she could page the party over the intercom...the place wasn't very crowded, in fact we were the only scheduled birthday last night.  She said that she could, but the kids don't always come so I  should just go get them.  Then one of the parents asked another employee to page the kids who said she would get the girl to do it.  She never did it.  I had to go and gather children for the birthday dance that wasn't really a dance...mostly hand clapping...then my hostess disappeared again and we wanted to do cake and presents.  So I clear the table of all the pizza plates, go to the counter wait in line and ask for forks and plates.  I get the forks, but they said the hostess would bring out plates.  Waited..... waited..... almost went into the kitchen when she came out with my plates.  After cake, the kids went to play and I knew that despite the fact that I reloaded several token cards, people would be leaving soon so I wanted the 100 tickets per kid that came with the party so I got in line again to ask for them and the manager was at the register.  I told her we I did not have a happy time and she gave me a pizza package and 200 tokens, which helped, but doesn't make it all better.  My guests were joking, ""Hey, I didn't know you work for Chuck E. Cheese!""  I didn't get a chance to play skeeball with Alex, but the kids had lots of tokens and lots of fun and got to take home ballons and those hard plastic straw cups with Chuck E on top.  And the adults had fun too--mostly laughing at me waitressing, but it's ok, I'm good at it.  I wish I could have gotten that girl back in Merrillville...she was the bomb hostess of all times...even Mama liked her...I'll have to fly her in next time.

A BIG THANKS to everyone who remembered to call, send gifts, make it to the party, etc. 

Next year is double digits...he's talking about Hawaiin Falls so get your swimsuits ready.

I am the son and the heir

""You have killed me."" 

Why do people read the back of my shirt to me like I don't know what it says? 

""I gotta ask...what's on the front?""

Like you know who he is ""Morrissey.""

""I saw him back in '92 for like 15 minutes here in Dallas then he walked off the stage."" 

You, sir, are instantly more interesting...

*********************************************************

I now have copies of ""Meat is Murder"" and ""The Singles.""  They supplement and complement my funky mood.  I plan on putting  ""How Soon is Now"" on repeat after lunch and letting it ride till someone (the office drama queen) complains.

Great minds think alike

I member going to the Bon Jovi show and having to pee afterwards cuz Juana got us each gallon sized Cokes.  There has got to be 30 lines of stalls with 30 toilets in each line at Tinley Park so when we saw a single file line of women, Juana and I decided to let them stand there and go around them.  As we walked in, this middle-aged, white lady points her finger at me and says, "You're cutting and that's not right."  to which I turned and replied, "Kiss my ass."  My darling sister was ahead of me and missed this transaction and asked me what happened.  I told her what that lady said to which she replied, "Did you tell her to kiss your ass?"

my favorite word is "crackehead"

I adopt speech patterns from people with whom I socialize...always have.  Sometimes it can be as minor as which word is stressed in a sentence.  It's hard to explain, but I'm bored and obviously so are you.

I talk really fast.  All the sisters do.  I think it's cuz there were four of us and you had to get it out in 10 seconds or less if you wanted to be heard.  I heard myself on the radio yesterday and was like ""what the hell did I say right there?""

My tendency to quote obscure movie lines and song lyrics is Josh's doing...as is my mastery of dead pan delivery.  I was working on it when I met him, but he was the file on which I sharpened my skills.  And while I was sarcastic before I met him, we spent a lot of time trying to get the last jab in.  He is also responsible for ""pooh/poo""  ""that's looks/tastes/smells like poo"" and compound words like ""poocheese.""  For example: ""Velveeta is not the real deal, that's poocheese""  However, a grilled cheese sandwich made with Kraft Deluxe is ""tasty goodness.""

""Ya think?"" <--pure Scott.  I ask it when people make statements with built in justifications like ""I think..."" or ""that's just my opinion.""  [Of course ""you think x"", if you didn't think it, you probably wouldn't say it.  Asking ""ya think?"" is part of an ongoing effort to make folks stop saying ""I think"" before every friggin opinion.  You are entitled to your opinion without apology or justifications. Actions have reactions, but thinking, well that's always ok. whoa...tangent]  My friend Scott ceases to use contractions when he is making a point and/or being silly.  I do this in similar circumstances.  My tendency to quote Fight Club stems from the fact that he loves that movie as much as I do.  When he and I talk, there's a rhythm to the conversation.  It is most noticable when it is interrupted.  If you've heard it, you know what I mean, if you haven't it's like a tennis match in the Matrix.

The Spanglish thing comes from my parents.  I crack me up sometimes with that stuff.  I don't do it all the time.  It happens sporadically...more and more at work lately. 

Jason's still stuck in my head.  The other day I asked my son if he was ""pouty-wouty"" and just today I found myself saying ""yuppers.""   I'm gonna have to wash that one out of my vocab.  It could be worse, I could start interrupting people with ""At any rate.""  Someone kick me if I start doing that.

Juana has made my vocabulary exceptionally colorful. Her contributions include, ""hatericious"", ""po po"", ""re-re"", and ""ghetto glorified.""

My mother has labled my platforms ""hoochie shoes"" and had us all saying ""dirty, old dog""

But my word choices have not been the same since I was sitting at home watching a movie with Josh.  A car rolled by and almost hit Danny Glover and the cabbie yelled out to him, ""Watch it, you crackhead."

Let's play outside

The thunder is rolling quite loudly outside.  There's honest-to-goodness rain in Texas today.  Can I get an Amen? 

I love the rain when it's warm outside.  I love thunderstorms.  I miss watching a big storm roll across Lake Michigan like something out of a movie.

I hope it's still raining when I get home; I want to go outside barefoot with a bottle of Pantene and wash my hair

Critique this

My first blog contained the line, ""...I don't know if I like the idea of leaving a ""blog"" It sounds like a particularly thick wad of mucus.""  I've carried that thinking with me as I've continued this MySpace page.  When I blog, I shove my virtual finger up my virtual nose, (way the hell up there) scrape my brain and smear my findings here for your reading enjoyment. (or misery-- whatever gets you through the day)

Sometimes I get really funny comments posted which make me laugh out loud and John (he owns the place) kinda looks at me funny over his glasses.  Sometimes I'll get an IM or email regarding my latest smear.  I appreciate these things, though they're not necessary as I mostly do this to amuse myself.  And just lately, I discovered that I have repetitive readers who criticize my smearings as if they've contributed anything to the writing world outside of ""Why I like to Fingerpaint."" 

My Dear Readers,

Most of you know that I write much better than this...especially those of you for whom I've written papers...I mean, um...those of you for whom I have proofread.  To those of you who don't know, shut the hell up. My random rantings are not for credit.  My blogs are not required reading for any college course.  Lurk elsewhere or at the very least, don't bother me with your insecurities.  Talking behind my back, BY DEFINITION, means I don't have to hear it.  You don't have to be ghetto to keep it on the low.

Ok.  I love you, buh-bye!

No training, home or otherwise.

The ""reservationist specialist"" at the hotel we use must be new.  She told me A) I couldn't get one of my rooms a day earlier and B) let our call get disconnected.  Since I just had their Senior Sales Manager buy me lunch and kiss up to me *big time* because our contract is up for renewal, I know that I deserve a little better.  And indeed, after a quick email, I got better.

I don't know why people think they can be rude on the phone.  I am the image of professionalism while representing this company.  Politeness overkill.  What ever happened to having a little pride in your work and at least pretending you know what customer service means?  When I was at the hotel, said phone-girl was smiling and nodding and happy to meet me. Somehow because I wasn't standing in front of her it was, ""No, I can't do that."" ....silence....""Can you hold on?"" Click.  What the hell? 

I've done my best to teach my son, but I can't reach everybody.   Pass it on:  EXCUSE ME, PLEASE REMEMBER TO USE YOUR MANNERS.  THANK YOU.

There’s an ulterior motive to my hidden agenda

Being suspect.  In some instances, I accept it as a matter of course.  I fully expect to be pulled over while driving in Highland, IN after dusk.  Can't be Mexican in that neighborhood after dark without a very white escort and even then the cops get bored, you know?  I incorporate ""so where are you headed?""  time into my driving schedule.

 

But then there are times that it just makes me irritated.  Getting followed around the store by the undercover security guy irritates me.   I'm the most honest person I know.  (That irritates me too, but thats a story for another day)  My parents always told us, DON'T STEAL.  DON'T DO DRUGS.  There was a list of other stuff as long as both my legs, but nothing that I wouldnt get bailed out over.  I'm not gonna take anything from your store and if I were, it wouldnt be off the clearance racks that youll usually find me perusing.  

 

And then there are times that it just pisses me off and hurts my heart.  Usually, I'm all kinds of honest.  I do the whole spare-your-feelings thing, but other than that, I'll shoot you straight.  I'm not up to anything that I didn't tell you about 2 weeks ago.  I don't try to manipulate men out of money, don't use them for status, or date them for their car. 

 

Why do men always seem to suspect that I want something?  I may not have a new ride, but I have a ride and if I really, really wanted it, my daddy would buy one for me.  I don't care how much you make, what you're driving, what you do for a living or where you went to school.  I don't care about bling--bling is for other people and I don't care about people I don't know.  People I know and care about dont expect bling.  If I care about you, you are in a very exclusive minority.  Please don't fuck it up by questioning my every move and sentence and telling me what I meant by what I said.  I know what I meant to say, THAT'S WHY I SAID IT.

I can see behind me now

It's so damn hot that 2 weeks ago, the glue on my driver's side mirror just gave up.  I walked out of the apartment to head to work and the mirror was lying on the floor in 2 pieces.  I used the epoxy we have at work and glued the pieces back in. 

A long ass time ago, the mirror on the passenger side was shattered.  It was just the glass, not the plastic part.  I put a mirror over it with hooky thingees.  Somehow it got ripped off.  I don't know who thought that shit was funny, but who understands crackheads?  I went and got a new piece of mirror at Pep Boys and voila!  I can see!

Two days ago, I was on my way to lunch, when I look to back up, I realize my rearview mirror is just not there.  There was a dried up glue booger sitting where my mirror used to be.  I look around and realize that my mirror is on my seat.  Chicago-made trucks are not made with glue that can stand up to Dallas heat.  It's been frozen for nine winters in a row, but two Texas summers and the poor glue just died.  I peeled it off and it wasn't even remotely sticky.  It was like a piece of plastic.  I went and bought a repair kit and fixed it myself tonight. 

I've changed air filters, oil, bulbs, flushed a radiator and I've even changed tires in the rain. All of that is nice, but I'm taking  pride in glueing  the mounting bracket of my rearview mirror to the windshield and securing the mirror again.

Snip snip

I'm chopping off my hair.  I'd shave it all off if I were really bold, but my head is large and funny-shaped. 

In the movies women cut their hair when they cut ties with reality.  I've never felt that close to reality, myself.   I just feel the need for a change.

I dunno whether to wait for Alex to come back or do it and just see what he says.  When he was 2 or 3, he used to take out whatever I had holding my hair up.  Then he'd say, ""Now you're mommy."" and then I'd put it up and he'd get irritated and say, ""Cindy, Cindy, Cindy, Cindy"" and go about taking my hair tie out.  I asked what about when it's half up and he said, ""then you're Cindy-Mommy.""

Let's begin at the end

He asked that I not blog about him.  I considered it and decided that I'm not all that concerned with what he wants.  Betrayal warrants at least one blog.  I'm thinking there will probably be a short series.  I haven't slept right in 2 weeks.  I need to sleep so I'm gonna blog.  He says, Jason, that is, that my blogs are semi-illiterate garbage and he can't believes that anyone reads them and blah blah blah.  (Thats why he reads them at least 19 times a day)

 

I thought he was romantically tragic.  Turns out hes just a crisis boy.  

 

Crisis boy: n. -- A man who needs to spill all his emotional garbage on you and uses you to boost himself up...and then bails.

 

So after being friends with this man (read: being his emotional dumping ground) for over four months, he has decided that he no longer wants to have any contact with me ever again. (at least until his girlfriend dumps him again and he takes another handful of pills)  The fact that I stayed up talking to him for nights on end until I was passing out is not important.  You see, now he tells me that I was never attractive to him at all, I smell like a fat girl, I am crass and a pig.  He never mentioned all these things when he was clinging to me and I was telling him that we were incompatible.  No, then it  we could move past it and I had to try to work it out and compromise.  Of course, I am the fool who went back knowing it would never work out. 

 

I know that he's mean when hes angry, but I didn't realize that he has no conscience at all.  It just kills me though that he thinks its acceptable to insult my child who he met once when he was over an hour late meeting us for dinner.  Tragic?  Nope.  Just pathetic.

 

I hope things work out with her.  I don't have what it takes to emotionally support someone with more issues than I have.

Mexico es muy bien

Foamy's latest rant is out and it is hilarious.  Ill will press dot com is the best!  If you don't know of Foamy, it's high time you became familiar with genius in poorly drawn cartoon squirrel form.  Spreading the word of Foamy.  My work here is done.

http://www.illwillpress.com/mex.html

I need a hobby

Mother's Day 2005 my little sister's gift to me was to take me to the mall and have a little Indian girl take a string to my eyebrows and rip them off my face.  Well, I had some left, but not wild ones.  A few days later, they started to grow back.  Not wanting to do the whole ripping thing again, I started to tweeze the strays. I think I have an addictive personality or a pain thing cuz I continued to tweeze almost daily until just last month.  My little sister saw me and said I had been OVERtweezing.  I didn't think so, but I'm pretty used to looking myself in the mirror so I reluctantly took her word for it.  I've been letting them fill in and only tweezing the strays.  The trouble is a good many look pretty stray to me.  I need an objective point of view on my brows.  I look at magazines trying to pick a style.  I've considered lightening them, maybe doing my hair, too.  But that's extremist and silly.  I try to ignore them like I did for the 20-something years before that fateful day.  It's not easy being as weird as I am. But I must resist the temptation to pluck.  I resist as I check out the yellow pages for "little Indian girl with string".

*pop* *pop-pop*

I've been in a funk of late.  But I had a moment where I laughed right out loud.  Who knew hitting a lizard with a marshmallow gun would be so much fun?  It's hard to aim, but I recommend it to anyone in a funk...or bored...or anyone interested in seeing a lizard freak out.

Sister of night

I owe an apology to someone I've never met.  I've wished she would just vanish into a black hole or side slip into an alternate universe. 

It's not her fault. 

He couldn't give his heart to me when it's still full of her.

dollar movie, anyone?

I'm bored and I'm lonely.  I miss my baby so much.  The whole no responsibility, staying out on Friday till 3 a.m. thing is fun and all, but I'd rather snuggle up with my big boy, have some popcorn and watch Yu-Gi-Oh again.   He's coming back July 22nd.  Do the Alex Dance...Oh yeah! Uh-huh!

Thanks, my friend

My Sudafed is working rather well, but I'd still rather be in bed than at work.  I think I'll be spending my lunch hour passed out on the floor with my blanket.  

It came on quite suddenly.  I went to bed on Saturday feeling damn fine and woke up Sunday breathing snot bubbles.  I tried to go about my day,  it just wasn't working.  I had every intention of going to the park and feeding the ducks.  I'm fairly certain I passed out saying so...arguing that I was not  tired and the ducks needed a cookie.  I woke up wondering when exactly I had fallen asleep.  I slept for four hours in the middle of the afternoon. 

It was nice to have someone look out for me, even though I was not looking out for me.  Plenty of people will be your friend when you're at your best,  but few will stick by you when you're dripping snot, mumbling incoherently, drooling on their pillow, and mostly unconcious.  Is ""Thanks"" enough?  I still have that cookie.

random nonsense

I keep meaning to put a couple of coherent thoughts down, but I haven't been having coherent thoughts so you're stuck reading this:

Mondays are hard. I don't sleep enough on a good weekend; I go out and have fun and it's soooooo worth it.  I wear cute stuff and do my make up and look like ""a slutty mexican"".  I take it as a compliment.  I'd like to go dancing.  If anyone knows a good place to go in the DFW area and won't be embarrassed by my lack of coordination, please hit me up.

Recently, I had a brief conversation about the movie ""The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover""  It's a fine film...disturbing, but well done.  Last night I had a dream about cooking someone and getting rid of the body by eating them and serving him to people as bbq pulled pork....that's not what happens in the movie, but I'm thinking that's where the dream came from.

Recently, two of my razors were thrown away...not the disposable kind either.  I had men's Gillette Sensor Exels...had one of them for years and I would just buy the refill cartridges.  Well....I left one at a friend's house and my sister went on a cleaning spree and they both got thrown away.  Not a huge deal, but I had to go buy a replacement.  So I'm at Walmart looking at the huge display of choices and I say to myself, ""Self, the women's razors are more expensive.  This could mean a) the razor companies suck or b) they probably work better.""  I went with b...I can't remember the last time I was so wrong.  I change that damn head all the time and they cost about 60% more than my Sensor refills.  I've come to the conclusion that I have man hair on my legs.  This bothers me just a tad, but admitting the problem will lead to smoother legs.

My nails keep breaking and they were so cute.  Now I have man hands...to match my man-hairy legs.  (Shit)

I want ice cream.  We have popsicles, but it's not the same.

I miss my baby.  He's almost 9...wow...9....but he's still my baby.  We talk on the phone and he just cracks me up.  That boy has got a crazy sense of humor.  I could say that I don't know where he gets it, but I know it's from his crazy daddy.  He'll be back in a week...my son, not his crazy daddy.  I needed a break, but I miss my precious little monkey.  I'm really pretty pathetic without him.  My baby likes ice cream...think I'll call him up and see what he did today.

male pattern

My boss is in Canada this week and Kansas next week.  Last week he was in Atlanta, GA, but I'm not lonely...he calls me at least four times a day to ask if anything is going on and if I've finished stuff yet.  Stuff I would finish if he'd stop calling me to add more crap to the top of my thing-a-doo list.  How am I supposed to get my nap in if he keeps calling here?  I smile and tell him it'll all be done by 4:00.  He's a wee bit spoiled.

The owner of the company is out on the golf course today.  He calls me to look up phone numbers and such.  He calls me for driving directions while he's on the road.  He calls me to call his wife to tell her he's gonna be late, but not tell her why.  He's a wee bit spoiled.

I spent no less than three hours massaging feet this weekend...that's only counting time spent on the feet!  He's just a wee bit spoiled.

My son called.  He said I need to send him $50 spending money and $100 more that he owes my mom.  Does Kris have his fireworks yet?  Can he fly home?--driving takes too long.  He's just a teeny wee bit spoiled.

I am a blog thief

My sister posted this on her Yahoo 360 and I said to myself, ""That's a damn fine blog...I think I'll steal it.""  I also added a line or two ... FYI--I'm Wyrd.  So here it is:

The familia has different rules than most families.  It's what makes us unique. 

Rule 1.  Every sibling is stupid.  It's not uncommon to begin a conversation with Wyrd or a call to V with ""Your sister is so stupid!""  The proper reply to this is: ""Which sister now?"" or ""Yes she is! Which one?"" 

Rule 2. They are always the sibling's family, not your own.  When speaking to Wyrd, it is proper form to say: ""Your father said x.""  or ""Have you called your mother?"" or ""Your tia is in town.""

Rule 3.  There are no clear-cut relationships.  Lil Brother, Cousin E, Uncle E, Nephew  E are all the same person and can be used interchangeably by any member of the familia.  Everyone (child, grandchild, great grandchild) calls Wyrd's mother and father Mama and Dad.

Rule 4.  There is only community property.  Grab a set of keys and take any car.  Spend the night in whichever house.  Sleep on any bed.  Wear whatever's cute.  (it's $3 a gallon...put gas in my ride! and be advised Mama is probably 2,000 miles overdue for an oilchange)

Rule 5.  Children have multiple mothers.  Any child regardless of color or age will be scolded, spanked, punished, kissed, hugged, or claimed in public as mijo/mija at any time by any member of the family.  (Unless they embarrass me in public, in which case I announce,  ""I can't wait to get you home to your mother!"" or ""I'm not your mother, but I'll whoop you for her.)

Rule 6.  Anything said or done is immediately relayed across the country to any family member except Mama and Dad.  This applies to anything positive or negative and currently only includes 3 states. (On the record, I don't know shit and I ain't in it.)

Rule 7.  Everything is funny.  There is no topic, regardless of the nature, which cannot be joked about to lighten the mood.  This includes death, crime, baby-daddy jokes, etc.

Rule 8.  All children inherit bad traits from their fathers.  Since only the females have spawned children, this is universal.  Sweat glands, feet, body hair, etc. all come from the male gene pool. (I dunno...lil brother has Juana's monkey toes)

Rule 9.  You make the call when you get that feeling.  The are-you-pregnant? feeling-ok? been-in-jail-lately? No? well, have-you-heard-from-your-sister? call.

I was misinformed

Damn the shitty gossipers who can't get a story right.  Turns out it's not the GM, but the production manager.  Now I'm celebrating...he is so damn creepy!  Always walking around looking all slimey-pervy.  Never does shit!  NEVER!  More useless than "Tits"(which is what we call the GM's secretary as she has no actual skill set and we see no other reason for her employment)  I am so glad that fool is leaving...he talks so slow it causes me physical distress to listen to him.  I feel like a trapped rat when he walks in my office cuz I can't think of anywhere to go...I've tried faking a bladder problem, but he just sits and waits for me to come back and he never has a real reason!!!  Not once has he ever come to me with something I can help him with.  He wants someone to tell him that they'll do it for him.  Guess what?  Not gonna be me!  I have a whole bunch of stuff to do for order processing, administrative stuff, sales stuff, promos and the newsletter.  What the hell does he want me to do?  Give up blogging?  Sheesh!

Jim

I found out yesterday that our general manager is retiring.  Really, it's overdue; he's old and has major health issues.  He's not a bad fellow and he had the good sense to hire me so it's a little sad when everything gets factored in.  He's LOUD and a touch PUSHY and IMPATIENT, but those things I can forgive. (I kinda have to, no?)

I know that the owners have a couple of people in mind for the position wo are going to ""get this place in line.""  There was some talk of a dress code. Yikes!  One of the things I enjoy about working here is the complete and total lack of dress code.  Today I have cut offs, my Chuck Taylors with froggy socks and ""Never underestimate the power or stupid people in large groups"" tshirt. 

When we have out-of-town company, I put on a dress and wear make-up and comb my hair into something other than a bun.  My boss tries to encourage me to do this everyday by saying things like, ""You look really professional.""  duh.  I have a professional wardrobe, as I worked at a lawfirm for three years...I just hate pantyhose and hard-soled shoes. 

My boss says, ""It's all about image.""  I agree with that.  I have the best phone voice in the businsess.  I proofread like my 11th grade English teacher (Mrs. Dakich was the bomb) and I'm all all about customer service...but I work in the sales office of a production warehouse.  No one sees me except the people who work here and that's only when I'm getting coffee or walking to the bathroom.  The owner of the company wears shorts and loafers with no socks....where's my motivation to dress to impress?

Hopefully, the owners will have enough sense to keep the place low-key and laid back....why add stress to a good thing?  Awww damn!  I just thought of something.... I'm probably gonna have to start being on time for work now.  Where will it end?!?!?

Good times

They both (eventually) promised to be loving and faithful spouses. Scott and Gretchen are the perfect couple.  If they weren't both such amazing people, I'd probably puke, but they are and I was so happy for them I cried...4 times.  But I was in good company with Scott's mom and sister and only really lost it once.

This weekened (in random order) I:

dressed like a girl.  had some waitressing action going.  had a village hot dog and Luigi's chicken wings.  had an Indian girl do my eybrows at the mall.  slept a lot.  didn't have a chance a the bouquet. forgot my camera.  forgot the card twice.  was one of the guys.  chilled in a hot tub.  laughed a lot.  cried some.  decided Terry probably really is gay (which contributed to the laughing). flew in a jet airplane for the first time.  talked really fast and had everyone understand.  missed my baby.  used ""he's a kocur"" as a complete explanation.  honked in a friendly way. wondered about 15 times why there's no White Castle in Texas. saw a lot of pregnant women.  hugged just about everyone I knew in Lake County at least twice.

weekend plans

My friends, Scott and Gretchen are getting married Friday.  I'm flying back to Indiana just for the occasion. 

On Thursday, for dinner, I plan on eating some chicken wings from Luigi's.  I don't care about Michael Jackson, Luigi's chicken wings are the best thing to ever come out of Gary.  For lunch, I'll probably get a Village Hot Dog.  Yes, it deserves capital letters.  I'm also going over to the Southlake Mall to get my eyebrows done by an Indian girl with some string...I haven't plucked all week. 

I still gotta find a dress cuz the one I was gonna wear, I'm just not feeling...unless I can find shoes.  I'm not sure what I'm doing Saturday or Sunday, but hopefully there are people who will have time to see me.  I'd make some phone calls if my cell phone still wasn't broken. 

BTW, Does everyone have my current number? (972).... Lemme know if I can bring you a hot dog.

Nah... that ain't it

I was sitting in my office, sipping my coffee, working on my latest project when the phone rang.  I brought the receiver to my ear,  prepared my phone voice and cheerfully said, "Good Morning..." and stopped.  All my mouth wanted to do was say, "Efron, Efron & Yahne".  I had to fight myself not to say it.  It was a much harder struggle than I ever would have imagined considering I haven't worked there since July 2005.  I managed not to say it, but for the life of me I could not come up with the name of company where I now work.  It seemed like an eternity.  Luckily the person on the other line recognized my voice and just jumped right into the conversation.  I talked to him briefly and hung up.  I seriously had to look at the sales order on my desk to remember where I work.  Sometimes I get tired of working here, but now that my brain reminded me of just how miserably I had it, I just gotta say I LOVE MY JOB!!!

I need alterations

I want a new tattoo.  A big, bright one.  I just don't know what I want.  And I may change my mind, but today it seems like a damn fine idea to get a little work done.  The Mutant Symbol, Ka, Unfound...maybe some roses or a flutterfly.  Maybe I'll pierce my nose while I'm at it!

Who wants to touch me?

(Have you heard my Eric Cartman imitation?) Yes, I saw the new Terrence and Phillip movie.  Who wants to touch me? I said who wants to fucking touch me?!?

Yes, it's ok to be jealous....I saw X-Men 3 before you.  Scored passes from the Edge and then they gave me two more cuz they forgot they gave me the first two so I was able to take my sis and the boys. 

I was worried that it wouldn't be as good as the first or second, but I worried needlessly.  It rocked! Alex and I both loved it and will inevitably see it again.

Forgive and Forget

Ok, maybe you won't forget, but I think it's very important to let it go. 

I firmly believe that it's ok to get mad and blow up and say whatever it is you have to say because it puts everything out in the open.  And once I've vented and destressed and let it all out, I let it go.  I really don't see the point in carrying around fodder for new arguments.  

YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT, YOU NEVER SEEM TO....that kind of shit really irritates me.  I just don't get it.  Didn't we have that discussion?  Wasn't that all worked out?  Why do you want to come back and hit me with that now?   I don't think it's fair to hold past transgressions against me if you said it was done.  If it's not done, please don't let me think it is. 

Yes, I'm spoiled and opinionated and a pain in the ass, in general, but you knew that going in.  Lately, I'm just worn out trying to be someone else. 

Is that a chip on my shoulder?  Well if it is, it's a delicately balanced chip.  And it you're one to take offense, perhaps you should take a moment to analyze your desperate need to knock it off.

Hut One

Texas is SERIOUS about some football.  Tonight was the second time I was out to dinner and someone tried to recruit my son for Pee Wee football.  The boy is eight.  I know he's built like a linebacker, but come on....eight!  Is it just me or is something wrong with this picture?

Of course, I suppose we could call it grooming.  You know, for high school ball so he can get a scholarship for college so he can be a first round draft pick because Mommy needs a new Mercedes.  Yay football!

Mommy, when is Big Boy Day?

We got free tickets to the Desperados game, coupons for 3 Croissandwiches and a free Papa John's pizza. 

So how the hell did I spend $60 and all I have to show is a $5 tshirt?  One day my son will understand that every day is Big Boy Day.

Free stuff rules

Yesterday I won tickets from the Edge...to see the Dallas Desperados play this Friday, to the Wildflower fest on the 19th and to the opening of Xmen 3. 

I thought I was dialing for Edgefest tickets, but this is still pretty sweet.

4 to 6 weeks

My face has betrayed me quite tragically.  It started about a year or so ago with an occasional zit, a touch of redness some days.  Now, it's in a perpetual state of broken out.  I firmly believe that some jealous bizznitch gave me the evil eye.  El Ojo...you know what I mean.

So I go to Walmart and look at Oil of Olay Total Effects anti-wrinkle, anti-blemish moisturizer.  1.7 oz --$24.00.  There are illegal drugs that don't cost that much an ounce.  And the stuff is *gauranteed* for you to *begin* seeing results in 4 to 6 weeks.  What a kick in the ass...but I figured in 4 to 6 weeks I could *begin* to see results or still be wearing the same traitorous skin.  So here I am 4 weeks later and yes, I am *beginning* to see results and I figure in a week or two, it will be time to make a choice.  To shell out another $24 and hope I continue to see results -or- try something less expensive and hope for continued success.  Oil of Olay.  My latest addiction.  There is no rehab

'Tis the season

"

Bring on the seasoning.  It's had to be at least 85 degrees out today. Yes, children, it's that time again.  Barbeque season!  Time to break out the grill and eat a ridiculous amount of meat.

What I need from you is your favorite cook out foods and favorite memory.

I love grilled chicken, frijoles borachos and Veronica's potato salad with an ice cold coke.  YUM!  I will never forget the time Josh took a giant hamburger patty, put it between 2 tortillas and called it a taco burger. 

 

"

Say it, duck

While walking along the river, a plump white duck waddled up to me.  He looked at me and tilted his head.  Despite my pleadings, he just wouldn't say it.   AFLAC!

In the Desert

'In the desert'

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said: "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter-bitter," he answered;
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

      -- Stephen Crane

Short Story--long...really long....

"

Let me take you back to February 23, 2003.  I was driving home from a friend's house.  We were supposed to have gone out, but his ex didn't come get his kids and I wasn't in the mood to babysit.  Josh and Alex had plans so I called my friend Scott who is always good company.  We made plans to meet up at Bookies around 9ish.  It wasn't even 7 when I left Hammond towards Gary so I had time to go home, have a snack, shower and do my hair.  No problem.  It being Indiana in February, it had been snowing and I didn't want to get in an accident, so I took the long way home instead of hopping on 80/94. So I'm driving west on Ridge Road when I see the light on Colfax is red.  I take my foot off the gas and decide I'm just gonna ease on up to the light and barely touch the brake in the next 300 ft.  About 100 ft from the light, it turns green.  Naturally, I accelerate.  There is a car eastbound about to turn left and just as I get to the intersection, she floors it.  We collide.  The police take forever to come, make a report and send me on my way.  She went in an ambulance.  She said her foot hurt. 

Fast forward to February 19, 2004.  I'm at work filing another garnishment order when my mom tells me my dad and I are being sued over that damn accident.  Sued?  How is that possible?  Well, my theory is that the bitch is a crack head, but that's my theory about quite a few people so take it as you will.  She sues me for repairs to her car that she didn't make, time off work that she didn't take and medical bills that she didn't pay.  State Farm gives me a lawyer.  Our lawyers go back and forth.  She won't go away.  We have a deposition at which she says, under oath!!! that she had a green arrow, that she was following 8 other cars and that she came to a full and complete stop at the green arrow and then took the turn at 35 mph in her 1987 Pontiac.  (crack head)

So I let the lawyers fight and argue, court dates come and are post-poned and finally we get a set-in-stone trial date of April 17, 2006 to possibly last 4 days.  They keep trying to get me to settle, if only for the nuissance factor.  I tell her I'd be willing to let her kiss my ass.  My offer, believe it or not, is rejected.  I looked her attorney in the eye and told him I hoped he was getting paid hourly (and not just on contigency) because if not, he was a bigger fool than his client.

I bought my airline ticket and get the time off work.  I am ready to fly to Indiana to defend this fraudulent lawsuit.  And then today I get the call from my 3rd lawyer in this case.  Case dismissed--her attorney filed the motion.  She hadn't paid her attorney (he wasn't that big a fool) and was avoiding all his phone calls and had her family say she moved to Indianapolis. 

State Farm is reimbursing my plane fare.  I get a credit from the airline.  Things worked out ok.  :)

I don't get to see my friends this weekend, but I'll be back in the region in June for Scott and Gretchen's wedding.  Now that damn crack head better hope I don't run into her ass.  Again.

"

Why I have no friends

I've been sitting home all day watching movies and laying about the house.  I'm still in my pajamas.  The most ambitious thing I've done all day is make some corn bread--instant cornbread.  mmmmm instant cornbread.  I thought about going to the movies or calling someone and making plans.  I thought about it and then I watched Shine. 

Weekend reviews

"

Closer. {Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman, Clive Owen, Michael Haley}   I will have to see it again as it was very good. (and I was drunk)  While I did laugh at some of the well-written dialogue, I tell you quite honestly that the cover lies; it is not a comedy.

""The Little Penguin"" wine.  We bought the one with the purple label, which is fabulous.  The wine, however,  is really bad stuff.  Damn their clever marketing people.  They have sullied the image of the penguin.

Liquid cocaine is not tasty, but it is potent.  A buttery nipple is tasty, but not as potent.  Margaritas are both tasty and potent. (depending on the bar)  Cheap wine tastes better at the bottom of the bottle. 

Life is good.

"

copasetic, empathetic, apathetic. so pathetic

I am full of song lyrics today.  I encourage each of you to seeek out said songs:

from "Sympathy" by Bon Jovi :

...I never been nobody's Valentine and you never were a bride to be
I don't need you to be a friend of mine, I don't need no charity
....Honey, I know your act, when you're sending it back don't come bitchin' to me
Who said love is just a sacrifice was a man in need of sympathy
It sure don't take too long to realize that you ain't getting none from me
 

From "Good Riddance" by Greenday:

It's not a question/But a lesson learned in time/It's something unpredictable/But in the end is right/I hope you had the time of your life

From "Don't Think Twice, It's All Right"  by Bob Dylan

I ain't sayin' you treated me unkind / You could have done better but I don't mind / You just kinda wasted my precious time

Yet another reason my kid rules

So we're out buying tires. First we go to NTB and they give me a written estimate on what they recommend with the alignment it's just over $400.  Then we go to Firestone, who do not carry the tire we have the estimate for, but offer a comparable model.  Their estimate with alignment and extended warranty and an oil change is $490.  Alex hears that and tells me we should go back to NTB because it's cheaper.  The salesman tells my son that their price does not include the warranty or the oil change.  Alex tells the man he's still too expensive by $15 and that's not a very good deal.  He then announces to the 3 staff members and their customers that I work hard for my money and I can't be throwing it away for no reason.  The salesman then explained that the tires he was selling us had 60,000 mile tread life and the other tires had 50,000.  My son said that may be so, but he still thought I should go to NTB.  The sales guy looked at me and asked what *I* wanted to do.  I looked at Alex and said I had to agree with the man of the house.  The guy then took $15 off my alignment and $10 off the oil change.

bitter-sweet

I met My Honey's family this week under most unfortunate circumstances.  Chris and I flew up to Iowa for his uncle's funeral.  I think it's a true shame I didn't get to meet the man because hundreds of people came to the viewing and funeral and all of them had great things to say.  I wanted to be there for Chris, but was a little nervous about how I'd be received.  Despite their loss and sorrow, everyone was absolutely wonderful to me.  They embraced me as their own and I already consider them family.  I have a better understanding of why Chris is such a wonderful person. (and less crazy than I am) 

I feel better about both families meeting at the wedding.  I wasn't nervous, exactly,  but my mind put together various scenarios, none of which was ideal.  I'm not worried now.  In fact, as time goes by, I'm less and less stressed.  It's almost like someone hypnotized me and then made me forget the experience.  I feel very fortunate and loved.  I wish everyone that feeling.

ah there's the rub

I have something I've noticed about men who appreciate large women.  Let me first say that I adore the adoration, which seems to be exclusive to these men.  Men who appreciate the soft fullness of a Rubenesque woman, look at her--at me--as though taking in a fine painting. I take a joy in the covetous gaze of my hips.  I repress a giggle when a friendly hug touches my back, my arms, and that roll...  Yes, the one that does not border the breast or a thigh, or indeed, any errogenous zone.  And yet, when men touch me, it seems to be where their hand comes to rest...and then there's a gentle rub.  It could almost believe to be absent-minded, except for the unerring placement of the hand and the precise pressure of the stroke.  Every man has a different kiss, a different embrace, a different method of seduction, but the rub, you see, the RUB is universal. I like the rub.  I like what it represents.  I salute every man who has mastered it and every woman who can accept it without self-consciousness.

to all my Hoosiers...

"

I'll bet you didn't know......

Tomato juice was first served at a French Lick, Indiana hotel in 1925.
The first tomato juice factory was also in French Lick, IN.

The world's largest orchid species collection is found at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana.

The first regulated speed limit (20 - 25 mph!) was initiated on Indiana roads in 1921.

An average of 400 funnel clouds are sighted each year in Indiana.

The city of Gary, Indiana, was built on fill brought from the bottom of Lake Michigan through suction pipes.

There are only two Adams fireplaces in the United States.  One is in the White House and the other in the Diner Home in Indiana.

Josie Orr, wife of former Indiana Governor Robert Orr, flew bombers and cargo planes during World War II.

The Indianapolis Methodist Hospital is the largest Hospital in the Midwest.

One of the first complete bathrooms in Indianapolis was in the home of Hoosier poet, James Whitcomb Riley.

The career of Dorothy Lamour (famous for the Bing Crosby-Bob Hope Road Movies) was launched in Indianapolis.

Aviatrix Amelia Earhart was once a Professor at Purdue University.

Crown Hill Cemetery (Indianapolis) is the largest cemetery in the U.S.

The library in Fort Wayne, Allen County, Indiana houses one of the largest genealogy libraries in America.

Wabash, Indiana was the first electrified city in the U.S.

Pendleton, Indiana was the site of the first hanging of a white man for killing Indians.

The Courthouse roof in Greensburg, Indiana has a tree growing from it.

The world's first transistor radio was made in Indianapolis.

Clark Gable and wife Carole Lombard (born in Fort Wayne, IN) honeymooned at Lake Barbee near Warsaw, Indiana.

The American Beauty Rose was developed at Richmond, Indiana.

Elkhart, Indiana is the band instrument capitol of the World.

Frank Sinatra first sang with the Tommy Dorsey band at the Lyric Theater in Indianapolis.

Purdue Alumnus, Earl Butz, served as the Secretary of Agriculture.

U.S. 231 is the longest highway in Indiana (231 miles). Hwy 354 is the shortest (1.7)

Johnny Appleseed is buried at Fort Wayne, Indiana.

The singing McGuire Sisters spent their childhood summers at the Church of God Campground in Anderson, Indiana.

The main station of the Underground Railroad was in Fountain County,Indiana.

There are 154 acres of sculpture gardens and trails at the Indianapolis Museum of Art.

La Porte County is the only county in America having 2 functioning county courthouses.  (I think we can add Vanderburgh and Elkhart Counties in with that also.)

Crawfordsville, Indiana (Montgomery County) is the only site in the world where crinoids are found. (What is a crinoid, you ask?  A form of deep-water marine life that looks something like a starfish.)

Pendleton, Indiana was the site of the 'Fall Creek Massacre. A museum housing 3500 artifacts of pioneer heritage now exists on that site.

St. Meinrad Archabbey is located in Spencer County and is one of only 2 archabbeys in the U.S. and seven in the world. (Abbey Press is an operation of the archabbey.)

A Buzz Bomb (German - WWII), believed to be the only one on public display in the nation, can be found on the Putnam County Courthouse lawn in Greencastle.

Roberta Turpin Willett was born in Indiana.

Red Skelton was born in Vincennes, Indiana.

Mae West and Claude Akins were from Bedford, Indiana.

The inventor of the television, Philo T Farnsworth, lived in Fort Wayne,Indiana.

Forrest Tucker was from Pendleton, Indiana.

You can't ship wine to Indiana.

Bob Greise is from Evansville, Indiana. (Purdue boy)

Toni Tenille (of The Captain and Tenille) is from Indiana.

Oprah Winfrey built a residence in NW Indiana.

Florence Henderson is from Indiana

John Mellancamp is a Hoosier and resides in Bloomington.

The much sought-after Hoosier Cabinets are an Indiana product.

90% of the world's popcorn is grown in Indiana.

The Jackson Five are from Gary, Indiana.

The birthplace of the automobile, the pneumatic rubber tire, the aluminum casting process, stainless steel and the first push-button car radio was in Kokomo, Indiana.

Josh Greene recently of "" Rally Round The House"" and now host of ""Ten years
Younger""(Discovery Channel)was born in Anderson, Indiana.

"