Critique this

My first blog contained the line, ""...I don't know if I like the idea of leaving a ""blog"" It sounds like a particularly thick wad of mucus.""  I've carried that thinking with me as I've continued this MySpace page.  When I blog, I shove my virtual finger up my virtual nose, (way the hell up there) scrape my brain and smear my findings here for your reading enjoyment. (or misery-- whatever gets you through the day)

Sometimes I get really funny comments posted which make me laugh out loud and John (he owns the place) kinda looks at me funny over his glasses.  Sometimes I'll get an IM or email regarding my latest smear.  I appreciate these things, though they're not necessary as I mostly do this to amuse myself.  And just lately, I discovered that I have repetitive readers who criticize my smearings as if they've contributed anything to the writing world outside of ""Why I like to Fingerpaint."" 

My Dear Readers,

Most of you know that I write much better than this...especially those of you for whom I've written papers...I mean, um...those of you for whom I have proofread.  To those of you who don't know, shut the hell up. My random rantings are not for credit.  My blogs are not required reading for any college course.  Lurk elsewhere or at the very least, don't bother me with your insecurities.  Talking behind my back, BY DEFINITION, means I don't have to hear it.  You don't have to be ghetto to keep it on the low.

Ok.  I love you, buh-bye!