Comparable?

I used to be quite the comparison shopper.  Size, price, ounces per container, pennies per ounce... While I'm still a bargain-shopping penny-pincher, I don't do it as much anymore.  I've found the things I like the best and get them.  I splurge on Miracle Whip because Kroger brand salad dressing and sandwich spread is just not as tasty.  Yes, it's twenty cents more, but it's worth it.  I don't do comparisons on peanut butter or laundery detergent because no matter what, I'm getting what I want...Jiff and Tide.  Now that I'm getting old and settling into lifelong habits, I didn't think I'd start a whole new comparison process, but I caught myself doing just that tonight. 

I was out tonight with NewBoy and as we walk inside he kinda pushed the door so I could catch it as I walked in behind him.  J always held the door for me.  (Side note: It occurs to me that all the men I really cared about names' start with J) I admonished myself for making a comparison between past and present persons, but I kept thinking it.  Then as we were having dinner, NewBoy took food off my plate without asking.  Three times.  J never would have done that...though J did all the damn time.  As we wandered through the arcade, I reached for his hand and he put it in his pocket.  I actually mis-stepped.  I couldn't believe it.  I dated the most societally aware person on the planet and he had no problem holding my hand.  -Get a grip, Cindy.-  And he was way better looking than you, buddy. Yeah, I thought that one really loud.   I told myself to stop doing that.  It's a bad habit to start and I don't know why I'm doing it now. This is the kind of crap that dooms relationships before they can even start and yet I did it all night.  I don't know how much of this is about him and how much is about me.  I've been rather introspective.  I don't make a lot of sense in a lot of ways.  Mostly I'm ok with that, but tonight I wonder if that's not why I'm alone.