I asked my mom to gather the addresses of family members who I might invite to the wedding. We agreed on the guest list, that is, "No Haters". So today after a month of reminding her and her promising to get back to me, she called. Her list was full of haters. I told her which ones I didn't need because I'm not inviting them. She was not happy and now I am not happy. She told me to be polite and invite them cuz they won't come. She said that they don't have money to travel and get a hotel and all that. I know better. I know all they have to do is ask my dad for money and then he'll feel obligated. He'll pay their way to come annoy me. They'll eat and drink and be ugly and bring all 20 of their children and down syndrome grandkids. Or maybe they won't come. But I can't count on maybe. And I don't want to waste the postage on anyone who's never so much as sent me a birthday card.
Then she plays the but-your-dad card. But your Dad would want his family there. But your Dad will say if they're not invited that he's not coming. Now, I haven't talked to my Dad and I need to before there's a problem. It's not an argument I want to have. I hope it's not one that becomes necessary.
I think Mom wants to have a huge family gathering. I think part of her sees a mariachi band and a pinata. I think that if my parents really wanted to have that party, my 15th birthday passed and that chance has gone by. I think she was a little resentful when I suggested that if they wanted to pay for the wedding they could decide the guest list. She said we were already arguing and I hadn't even invited her yet. I don't even know how to respond to that.
Chris and I want to celebrate our marriage with people we love. I really wish it was that simple.
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