Not *in* your eye, Mrs. Morris

When I first entered the house I now live in, it was to watch Fight Club with my new friend who had never seen it before.  As soon as I sat on his couch I realized that either cats lived there or had in the past.  My eyes started tearing, my nose started running and my face started swelling.  I took a roll of toilet paper from his bathroom and we made it through the movie.

As time went by and my friend became My Honey and I started staying over on the weekends, I would clean his house.  He thought it was because I'm really nice or have some kind of cleaning obsessive compulsive disorder.  Nah.  I'm just really allergic to cat hair..and it was everywhere.  It was on the couch cushions, in the carpet, on the baseboards, in the dust on the windowsills.  Every weeekend I'd clean a little more so I could breathe a little easier.  Chris even washed the covers on the couch cushions for me.  It's gotten better.

The thing about cat hair is that it clings in hiding places you'd never think to look.  Last weekend when I was cleaning I had an asthma attack when I inadvertently turned up more cat hair.  I think it was when I changed the vacuum bag.  Sadly, the vacuum did not suck up all the cat hair.

Last night, while on the phone with my good friend Scott, I felt something in my eye.  It was bothering me in a big way.  I was working up tears and moving my eyelid.  I rinsed with water and it was still irritated beyond belief.   Finally, after rinsing with wetting solution I got the irritant out.  I looked at my face and my eye looked puffy, but I assumed it was just from the rubbing.

I woke up this morning with my eye swollen almost shut.  No redness, nothing in it, just big, swollen and slanted.  I looked like I had down syndrome.  It was very distressing.  I iced it and it helped a little, but Chris took me to the optometrist (opthamologist?) who dyed my tears, examined me and determined nothing was actually in my eye, but it was probably an allergic reaction.  I'm allergic to quite a few things, but the only thing that makes me swell up?  Yes, friggin cat hair.  It cost us our $100 deductible to find out that I had cat hair in my eye.  The doctor told me to put some cortizone on the lid, not in my eye.  He repeated that twice ""not in your eye, Mrs. Morris.""  I guess I still had some of that down syndrome look going on. 

It still feels a little puffy and irritated, but it's mostly better.  Did you know that Visine makes drops with antihistimine in them now?  Twice the cost of regular drops, but well worth it in this instance.  When the swelling goes down all the way I'll be going back to that nice doctor to get my vision checked.  Hey, deductible is paid, the whole family can have exams!

Chris told me I should stop cleaning so much.  He said the cat hair had been sitting there minding its own business when I stirred it up.  Yeah.  He thinks he's funny.