I don't know what to think

Currently, I live in a nice house in a nice neighborhood and we have enough money to pay all our bills and still afford a nice Christmas without putting a dime on a credit card.  Life is good, but it was not always so. 

Once upon a time, not so long ago... wait, that's a Bon Jovi song. 

*sigh* 

Ok, let's say: About 11-12 years ago, I was the definition of Working Poor.  I worked and had no money.  I was always struggling and stressing and then I was pregnant.  Although my ass didn't have insurance from my shitty part-time job, I did get prenatal care from a clinic I was referred to by the pregnancy crisis center before I moved back home.  They had a nice facility that had evening hours with doctors, nurses, lactation consultants, the works.  I am very grateful to that place.  I may have to Google them and mail them a check.  Places like that need support.  Yes?

Chris and I were watching a recording of 20/20 tonight that focused on Memphis and the high infant mortality rate.  In Memphis, a baby dies every 42 hours.  That absolutely Blows My Mind.  And I want to help those babies.  And I want to beat their mothers.  These girls, some 16, some 12 years old are getting pregnant. I'm so conflicted.  Alex wasn't planned.  It happens.  I understand.  What I don't understand is how it keeps happening and happening.  One girl had FIVE premie babies and two died.  FIVE!  What the bloody fuck?!?  Nothing on tv?  Read a damn book. 

The show said something like 250 premie babies died in 2006.  Where is the personal responsibility and accountability of the 250 mothers and fathers?  Yes, let's not leave out their MIA daddies.  The girl they focused on said her baby-daddy didn't talk to her after he found out she was pregnant.  As the show went on, they shared that he was a thug and shot dead when the baby was two months old. 

They showed the mass burials the county provides.  It broke my heart seeing those little coffins made out of scrap lumbar laid side by side in one big hole and covered up like a landfill.  I am so confused.  My compassion and my anger are at odds with each other.  The whole thing just irritates the living piss out of me.  I don't have a point.  I don't know if the city should just put birth control in the tap water.  I want to help babies but their parents are so stupid.  Maybe that's the reason for the infant deaths.  I don't know if you subscribe to God or Darwin, but either way...  They're just too damn stupid to reproduce and maybe those deaths are mercy for the life they would have lived.