It's good to be happy

I'm so happy lately that I don't know how to describe it.  First we had lunch and became friends.  I looked at the man across the table and wondered, ""why can't I find a guy like that?"" Duh.  Once I realized that I could keep my friend and have a wonderful boyfriend, happiness naturally followed.   I'm so satisfied with our relationship.  I don't expect anything....good or bad.  I just enjoy the time we have together and look forward to the next time.  I feel like I have the best guy I could possibly find.  The BEST, not just the best I can do right now.  Sometimes I wonder if he'll wise up and see that he's too good for me. 

I can't believe how much time I've wasted on relationships that have gone nowhere.  It's ridiculous how hard I've fought to keep men who I had no business being with to begin with.  I  thought that if I tried hard enough, or gave enough of myself that it could all work out.  I'm such a retard. 

It absolutely amazes me is how easy it is to be with Chris.  It's so comfortable.  At first, I told myself to hold back and wait and see.  I told myself that a couple of months isn't long enough to know.  But I'm going with it.  I know this will sound cliche, but I've never felt like this about anybody- not ever.  I think about the saying about how God brings people into your life when you're ready.  Maybe I just had to suffer through the freaks and weirdos so I can appreciate the real thing.  I have it.